Birthday Reflections 2019

Hey hey, it’s my birthday! Today I am 38. As I do every year, I always take my birthday to reflect on my life over the past year and what’s happened, how I have or haven’t grown and where I’m going from here. Let me tell you something. I thought 36 was my year of learning lessons and growth and all that jazz and that 37 was going to be where I got to flourish. My word of 2019 is shine after all. I took my 36th year to nourish myself and 37 was going to be my year to burst forth and bloom. Well….37 came along and instead said, oh hey 36, hold my beer. I’m not saying 37 was a bad year. I wouldn’t say it 100% turned out how I expected it to either. Some things that happened this year really took me by surprise and caught me off guard and it took some time to figure out how to deal with them. Many of them were not in my control, which is something that is hard for me.

The other thing is that I kind of undid a lot of what I worked so hard on in 2018 by nourishing myself. I let go of a bunch of responsibilities that didn’t bring me joy this year…only to fill them up with others. I got wrapped up in making everyone else around me happy (enneagram 2 represent over here!) and kind of forgetting that I need to make myself happy too. It took some really stressful moments this Fall to wake me up and remind myself that I matter and I am important and I deserve happiness just like everyone else does.

So where does that leave me? Well as I said, 37 wasn’t all bad. I had great moments this year, fun times and good memories. All those other things I talked about above? They were lessons I needed to learn and some truths I needed to face. I have zero regrets. Instead I am focused and woken up to who I want to be and who I truly am. 38 is going to be about me. It might sound selfish but it’s what I need to do. I already have a vision for 2020 and what my word of the year and path will be.

With age comes wisdom. I’m getting closer to 40 and you know what, it doesn’t scare me. As Rob Thomas sings in his newest song “I’m not afraid of getting older, I’m one less day from dying young.” Dang straight. And I got a lot of living to do and I’m going to do it out loud and by my rules and I am not afraid of what others will think anymore. Who am I? Well, I wrote this on an Instagram introduction post about myself about a month ago “I’m an extroverted introvert, I’m awkward and awesome, broken and beautiful and wonderfully weird and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” This is me. This is 38. And you know what? It feels pretty damn great.

7 thoughts on “Birthday Reflections 2019

  1. Happy Birthday Beth! I am wishing you nothing but all the things that make you happy in this year and every one that follows. I just love your fiery spirt. 38 looks great on you 🙂 . Im excited for your new year and journey you will be on. No regrets only moving forward! GO YOU!

  2. You are everything, my dear. Also this photo of you exudes so much joy. I just love it.

    I love that Rob Thomas quote. I used to be terrified of aging but there’s not much we can do about that, is there? To wake up each morning happy with what we do and the people we surround ourselves with? That’s pretty magical. I’ve been thinking about that a lot too lately—I’m going to be a first time mom at 41! And that terrifies me! But would I have been any less scared at a different stage in life? Probably not. Life is weird; we learn to roll with the punches.

    I’m glad 2019 taught you some things—good and bad. The bad makes us appreciate the blessings in life, and the good help to get us through rough patches. You got this. 2020 will be a beautiful year for you ❤️

  3. I hope you had a wonderful birthday and I hope that 38 is an excellent year for you! I like that you use your birthday as a time of reflection, I think that’s such a great idea. I tend to be reflective at the start of the year, but since my birthday falls not quite halfway through the year taking time to reflect then would be so good. I can’t wait to hear about your plans for the coming year!

  4. Happy birthday again, Beth. You know, even if 37 wasn’t all that you expected, there were some good lessons to be learned and taken seriously for 38… and I think you nailed it all down already.

    Getting older is a blessing (indeed) and there’s so much more living to do!

  5. I love that picture of you- it’s so joyful! Growing pains are always hard to deal with, but you seem to be taking it in stride. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish at all- how can you be the best you for everyone else if you don’t care of yourself? Shine on, you beautiful unicorn! Happy belated birthday!

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