Beth

Coffee Chat 7.10.19

It’s about time we sat down and had another coffee chat. This month I imagine we’re sitting down outside somewhere sipping iced coffee and enjoying a sunny day. I ask you what’s been new and if you had a nice 4th of July. I tell you about our long weekend and how nice it was after June was kind of up and down with vacation and illness. I laugh about how only I would not only get pinkeye and a sinus infection but also break out in hives from the medication I was on. I joke about how I should go play the lottery.

I take another sip of my coffee and ask you if you find yourself reflective in the summer. I don’t know what it is about summertime, but I often find myself in a very reflective mood. Maybe it’s the long lazy days that lead the mind to wander a bit. At any rate I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a number of things. I’ve been thinking about some of my friendships that ended. Most of the time I don’t dwell on them. I wrote about it last year, how I even got to a place where I can wish them peace. But we all have those moments or days of weakness (I find that they happen at that time of the month, ha) and every now and then I do get lost in my head a little and kind of look at those relationships and go “what happened?” The list of what I consider “failed” friendships is kind of long when I go and look at it so I sometimes go, what is wrong with me? Then the rational side of me comes back and says there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Life is not a movie. It’s not a TV show. Many of these relationships faded away in an organic fashion. We just grew apart. My mom always reminds me that people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I had a lot of seasonal friendships and that is OK.

I am thankful and blessed to have people in my life that fit the “lifetime” category, so I try my best to focus on them. The ones who are there not for just one season, but all seasons of life. The older I get the more I value these kinds of connections. It might mean my circle is smaller, but it’s still gold.

Well, I have pretty much drained my coffee and see you have done the same. Thanks for listening and letting me reflect a bit with you today. I give you a hug and tell you I consider you one of the people in my lifetime circle. After all, you come here and read what I say day in and day out! I’ll see you at our next coffee chat!

7 thoughts on “Coffee Chat 7.10.19

  1. I hear you on the friendship aspect – I’m so glad for my small group of girls – you are gold and I’m so thankful that you are part of my tribe!

  2. It’s so true about friends. I had a really good friend with whom I was always so close, but then something happened and I really don’t know what. I’ve searched, we’ve chatted but it seems to be nothing other than we’ve grown apart and perhaps like you say, that season has ended.

  3. I enjoy listening to your thoughts and wish we lived closer so we could do this IRL. The subject of “friendship” is complicated because interpersonal connection is varied; generalizations obscure that complexity. Discussing it here won’t do it justice; we really need to get together for coffee for that!

  4. I was thinking about old friendships yesterday too. It still hurts sometimes – not with every friend I’ve “lost” but some of them; the ones I was especially close to. But I do have lifetime friends, and that’s the main thing.

    -Lauren

  5. I’m actually the exact opposite, I get more reflective in the winter months. There’s so much stimuli in summer that I don’t focus on anything for too long, but the long, dark winter nights drag. I try not to think about the lost friendships though because I get too upset. I like that saying that your mom quoted. I remind myself to be grateful that they were there in the season, and redirect my attention to the lifetimers. I actually appreciate my smaller, closer-knit circle more than a bunch of acquaintances anyway! Hugs!

  6. I thought it was just me… I’ve been very reflective recently, so much that part of me wants to quit everything and start over completely new LOL (not that this is an option or anything and I am not really serious either).

  7. Overthinking at certain times of the month is something I do a lot of!
    I had a good friendship which I chose to end a couple of years ago, a friend had moved overseas and we were still in regular contact but then my Gran had a stroke and passed away within 2 very difficult months. I was extremely upset and didn’t get a single kind word from this so-called friend! I was sent loads of pictures of her new home and regular updates and not a word of condolences! I sent one very short message back to an essay she’d sent and blocked her number. Life is too short for fake friends! And I don’t regret it or the data saved from not having to look at 3 photos of the same bookcase and a list of what books were ‘worthy’ to travel overseas and be put in said bookcase.

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