Beth Uncategorized

Coffee Chat 3.18.19

It’s been awhile since we’ve sat and had coffee, so I thought today might be a nice day to do so. I imagine we’re at a nice small coffee shop with lots of windows and we’re sitting at at table by one of those windows so we can feel the warmth from the sun. We’d talk about how the weather seems to finally be turning around and I’d laugh about how I’m rebelling against boots today and have decided to wear flats instead. I’d ask if you’ve had any water issues with the rain and melting going on and tell you I’m thankful so far we don’t have any water problems at our house.

We’d shift from small talk into some deeper stuff at this point. I’d ask how you’re doing and what’s been new in your world and listen while you shared. Then you’d ask the same of me and I’d talk about how things have really been going pretty well. I’d remind you of the last time we were together and how I talked about how I was learning to live my life for myself again and figuring out what truly brings me joy. I’m happy to say I’m still doing that. I’m only saying yes to things that I want to do. I’m spending time with people who lift me up and want to help me be a better person. I’m also taking some chances and risks on some new things and so far it’s paying off. I’m getting more active again and feeling less sloth like, which was one of my major goals for this month. So dare I say, I feel good and I feel happy?

Why is it so hard to say it out loud when we’re in a good place? I find that it’s kind of a weird thing, like, if I say that I’m doing well, does that jinx it? I have that “other shoe drop” mentality but I can’t help it, I come from a long line of worriers (hi mom!) Instead of the “what if this goes wrong” thoughts, I’m trying hard to use the Rachel Hollis method of “what if it all goes right?” I’m not saying I’m perfect, but my negative self talks are happening less frequently.

Maybe I don’t say it out loud so much about being happy or in a good place because I know the world around us isn’t always so much. World events are scary sometimes and I absolutely do care and have concern for those things, but I also know that life is short and I just can’t dwell on it. I can do my best to give back and make my voice heard, I can teach my son to be a good person, but I can do what I need to for my own sanity too.

Anyway, those are my weird thoughts on happiness. I’m just trying to go with it and own it instead of feeling like I have to hide it away, if that makes sense. I see you nodding your head, so I think you get it! My cup is just about empty here, so I guess it’s just about time for us to part for this month. As always I enjoyed our time together and I look forward to doing it again. Maybe by next month we’ll be sipping cold brew coffee and sitting outside! We can hope!

7 thoughts on “Coffee Chat 3.18.19

  1. I really need to read this Rachel Hollis chick, because her “what if it all goes right?” really struck a chord with me. I’m a notorious worrier too, but it’s nice to NOT worry about that other shoe dropping, to just lean in and go with the flow. You’re absolutely right, Beth. Life is so short, and while global awareness is important and something I think we both do, we can’t let it destroy us. And man alive, has the news lately been horribly upsetting. Thank you for sharing this/ always love a good cofeee chat!

  2. Oh, how I would love to sit down and have coffee with you! I think I have been knocked down every time I let guard down so that lately I have just expected the worst. I hate that! I need to work on it. Hard! I would tell you that I had an awesome weekend but I am just worn out today. I am hoping the coffee is extra strong! I’m holding my breath and waiting for results from Anthonys tests and I’m procrastinating on making my dental appointment. When our cups are empty I would give you the biggest hug and tell you that you deserve to be nothing but happy and that you are one amazing Momma! Until next time XOXO

  3. I often have this fear that something bad will happen, but we should try and focus more on what’s going right and ENJOY that feeling. Yes, so many horrible things happen in the world, but we can’t let that be our main focus, every single day. We have to take care of ourselves too. I’m really glad that you’re doing well and that you’re happy!!!

    -Lauren

  4. Yay for being in a good place. I think for many (most?) people it’s hard to say it out loud when they’re in a good place in fear of “jinxing” it or something…. but at the same time, shouldn’t we just enjoy and treasure the moments when we’re free of any worries?!

  5. I understand completely what you mean! I had 2 fabulous weeks recently – felt like I was in such a better mood every day and had my anxiety under control. And then boom!! Felt the cloud appear last night. However today is a new day. Hasn’t been great by any means but I’m able to realise it wasn’t because I took the time to be happy I was in a good place.
    It is just one of those things. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I’ll learn from it. I skipped yoga (Monday is my favourite day for it) and had an unhealthy supper and a glass of wine – it didn’t help an already slightly crabby mood!
    I’m so glad you are in a good space Beth and hope it continues. Saying yes to what makes you happy is so important and it gets easier the more we do it.

  6. That is so great to hear that things are going well and you’re feeling good! I also feel that even though there are things that are terrible in the world, and of course I want to do what I can to make the world a better place, it’s still okay to be happy despite all that.

  7. I think I retreat even more when I’m in a good place. I introvert HARD. I just don’t want people’s negativity ruining my mojo. I think it’s only with certain people though. I keep my phone on silent on conversations to a point. People might think that I’m in a bad mood but it’s quite the latter. I’m protecting my happy. Is that weird? Having bipolar is like a swing of the pendulum – it’s not that often that I sit in a sweet spot of chaos. I’ll protect that with everything.

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