Thinking Out Loud – Peace
I haven’t done a Thinking Out Loud post in a little bit, but I had a revelation last night and decided to write about it, because that’s what bloggers do right?
I think I’ve mentioned in previous posts that summer sometimes brings out my reflective side, something about the long days and nostalgia and I’m not sure what else. I’ve been thinking a lot about past relationships. Not romantic ones because let’s be honest, there were really only one or two before Nate and they were hardly real. I’m talking about friendships. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve actually had a number of what I would consider failed friendships over the years. Some friendships ended in the way they naturally do, especially some from when I was younger. We grew up, we grew apart. Those things happen. But I have had a few that I feel did not end well. And I’m sure in some cases it was to the fault of both myself and the other individual. But it doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt or leave me feeling lost and confused. Sometimes I think the ending of a friendship is possibly even worse than that of a romantic relationship.
Anyway, I’ve been dwelling on some of these endings for a long time because as I’ve talked about in the past, I hold grudges and I can’t let things go (the only part of the Sagittarius sign that seems to fit me). And when I’m in a not so great place, like say a PMS week or down period or something like that, my thoughts spiral around thinking of these relationships and wondering what went wrong, why wasn’t I good enough, so on and so forth.
But, this summer, as I’ve been working on my “nourish” project and taking care of myself and my mental health I’ve noticed I haven’t thought of them quite as much. And if I have, I’m thinking of them in a more fond sense and remembering the good times together instead of dwelling on the fact that they are no longer in the picture. I think it helps that I have some truly awesome people in my present, so the past is mattering a little less.
Then last night, I was going down a rabbit hole on YouTube before I went to bed as I often do when I don’t feel like reading. I was scrolling through old music videos from this group I was obsessed with as a kid called The Party (they were a spin off group from the New Mickey Mouse Club). I stumbled onto a song I had never heard from their final album called “I Wish You Peace.” I sat and listened to this beautiful song talking about putting differences aside, coming together, stopping the fighting, just wishing peace. And I thought, I wish all of those friends from my past peace. I hope they are happy and I hope they have peace. I don’t know if they’d extend the same to me, but I think I’m finally at a place where I can wish that to them. Wishing them peace fills ME with peace. Whoa. What a simple concept but man. It blows me away.
I wish you peace. No matter who you are. If you are present in my life, thank you. If you were part of my past, I also thank you. Nothing but love here.
Link to video for I Wish you Peace
Linking up with Penny’s Passion