Thinking Out Loud

Thinking Out Loud – Peace

I haven’t done a Thinking Out Loud post in a little bit, but I had a revelation last night and decided to write about it, because that’s what bloggers do right?

I think I’ve mentioned in previous posts that summer sometimes brings out my reflective side, something about the long days and nostalgia and I’m not sure what else. I’ve been thinking a lot about past relationships. Not romantic ones because let’s be honest, there were really only one or two before Nate and they were hardly real. I’m talking about friendships. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve actually had a number of what I would consider failed friendships over the years. Some friendships ended in the way they naturally do, especially some from when I was younger. We grew up, we grew apart. Those things happen. But I have had a few that I feel did not end well. And I’m sure in some cases it was to the fault of both myself and the other individual. But it doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt or leave me feeling lost and confused. Sometimes I think the ending of a friendship is possibly even worse than that of a romantic relationship.

Anyway, I’ve been dwelling on some of these endings for a long time because as I’ve talked about in the past, I hold grudges and I can’t let things go (the only part of the Sagittarius sign that seems to fit me). And when I’m in a not so great place, like say a PMS week or down period or something like that, my thoughts spiral around thinking of these relationships and wondering what went wrong, why wasn’t I good enough, so on and so forth.

But, this summer, as I’ve been working on my “nourish” project and taking care of myself and my mental health I’ve noticed I haven’t thought of them quite as much. And if I have, I’m thinking of them in a more fond sense and remembering the good times together instead of dwelling on the fact that they are no longer in the picture. I think it helps that I have some truly awesome people in my present, so the past is mattering a little less.

Then last night, I was going down a rabbit hole on YouTube before I went to bed as I often do when I don’t feel like reading. I was scrolling through old music videos from this group I was obsessed with as a kid called The Party (they were a spin off group from the New Mickey Mouse Club). I stumbled onto a song I had never heard from their final album called “I Wish You Peace.” I sat and listened to this beautiful song talking about putting differences aside, coming together, stopping the fighting, just wishing peace. And I thought, I wish all of those friends from my past peace. I hope they are happy and I hope they have peace. I don’t know if they’d extend the same to me, but I think I’m finally at a place where I can wish that to them. Wishing them peace fills ME with peace. Whoa. What a simple concept but man. It blows me away.

I wish you peace. No matter who you are. If you are present in my life, thank you. If you were part of my past, I also thank you. Nothing but love here.

Link to video for I Wish you Peace 

Linking up with Penny’s Passion

7 thoughts on “Thinking Out Loud – Peace

  1. I love this so much! I haven’t heard of this song, but it has a wonderful message. I definitely think losing friends or having friendships end can be tough. I’ve lost some, though thankfully not too many. I feel like I’m slowly moving past things though and trying to remember the good things. I like to think certain people enter your life for a reason, and maybe they leave for a reason too, or the whole “a friend for a season” idea where they aren’t meant to be there forever. It sucks, but it makes you view it in a better light sometimes too.

    -Lauren

  2. I can relate to this so much. I have pondered so often why some friendships didn’t work out and even though I’ve gotten better at not dwelling on them too much, every once in a while, I will go back and think about them and what could have been. It’s a weird place to be, because most people will tell you that it is normal to fall in and out of friendships with people, but it still bugs me when I don’t know what exactly happened or when I know it’s been a misunderstanding that could have been fixed.

    Great way to work through this though, Beth!

  3. Great post, Beth. Such an important break through. I don’t think there’s a woman in the world who hasn’t felt the pain of a lost friendship. Sometimes it’s us who feels it has to end or else the other person cuts us off without a word (that’s the hardest). I have experienced both and also rekindled some lost friends. I have to say that it’s a delicate balance when a lost friend asks to come back…I’m waiting for them to abandon me again, and not really fully understanding the reason for the first break can be unsettling.
    I will take your cue and wish peace to all those friends from the past. I certainly learned something from each one.

  4. I love that. Wishing them peace brings you peace. It makes me think of forgiveness, how when you forgive someone you’re doing it for yourself, not for that person. I’m going to remember that about peace too, it makes perfect sense.

  5. That’s a good attitude, Beth. In every friendship there are two people and you can never control the other person so you can’t control the friendship. Often friendships die because of who the other person is or choices they make. That’s happened to me and I knew the regret of those endings. I don’t call them “failed,” however, because we learn from every experience.

    Most friendships in modern time seem to end not from drama or conflict but mere neglect. Someone stops making an effort to communicate and, if the bond isn’t strong, the other person acquiesces and follows suit. Time passes and then the connection is over. Personally, I hate when that happens because it means we’re giving up something valuable out of simple laziness and, for me, the value of good friendship is high. Probably higher than others view it. So I make the effort, constantly and persistently, to remain friends with people I like, even if they slack off. I don’t let my friendships end unless the other person signals that they want it to end. Which is why, despite our physical distance and lack of occasion for regular contact, I keep trying to keep our friendship alive. That and I like to see pictures of your Ollie growing up!

  6. I friggin’ love this. So SO SO much. And I think I’ve mentioned this before, too, but you’re absolutely right that those fractured friendships can smart even worse than the demise of a relationship. But having the grace to wish someone peace and replacing toxic feelings with feelings of love — THAT IS REVOLUTIONARY. seriously it will bring you so much happiness and <3 moving forward. Thank you for sharing this 🙂

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